Monday, January 3, 2011

I saw Jesus at the spa.

Happy Belated Holidays to you all! My December was eventful, although the blog did not reflect that. Whoopsie.

I received a free pass from my nail technician (I don't really know what to call her. I don't know her official name.. so that's what I'm calling her. nail tech. PLEASE someone in the aesthetics business correct me!) to attend the Planet Beach Contempo Spa here in Halifax. It opened early in 2010 (the spring I believe) and offers a variety of self-serve spa services. It's great if you're busy (each service is only 20 mins) or if you want a massage or a facial without anyone touching you (no small talk necessary!). Each service (minus tanning) is $40, or a membership is $80 a month. It's an interesting concept, and I was happy to accept the freebie, but I'm not sure I'd pay for it on a regular basis.

The three services I chose were the Hydro-Derma Fusion, Luminous Facial, and Teeth Whitening. I did the first two services a few weeks ago, and I go back for the teeth whitening this week.

The Hydro-Derma Fusion. Oh baby. Basically, you get naked, and hop into this giant pod with your head sticking out. The pod heats up to 50C and releases warm water vapor, and you then sweat out "toxins" while listening to relaxing music with rainforest sounds in the background. You get to pick the scent of the steam (I picked "Aloe"), and the pod is also equipped with cool multicolored lights that cycle through the colors of the rainbow. Apparently this is relaxing. To be honest, I did enjoy it, although I couldn't help but think that I was destined to be on an episode of "1000 Ways to Die", and they would liken me to steamed asparagus, while being too stupid to escape before I cooked all the way through. The pod doesn't lock, so if I got too freaked out I could just jump out. Thank goodness.

Not me.

The second thing I was scheduled for was the Luminous Facial. It wasn't ready yet when I was so they stuck me in the Cyber Relax Chair for ten minutes. Apparently it has more than 5000 settings, and they told me it was from Japan. I'm pretty sure all this meant was that they stuck a little Japanese guy in the back of the chair because it felt like little fists were needling their way up and down my back. I'm sure glad I was alone in that room, because I'm certain my facial expressions would not have been great advertising for the spa..

When I was ready for the Facial, one of the employees walked me through it. They make you pay $10 for the facial wash, then cream, then post-facial cream (but apparently you can make it last for a few sessions if you use it sparingly). I declined eye protection (MISTAKE) because I thought it would be fine, I'd just close my eyes.

The machine looks innocent enough. Lean back, close your eyes, and enjoy the feeling of the lights supposedly smoothing out my complexion.

And then I saw Jesus.

Seriously. We had a chat. Went for a 20 minutes stroll down the streets of gold. The light was so bright that I found myself involuntarily squinting. *Edit: My eyes were CLOSED. I was squeezing them shut so tightly my face looked like a raisin.* I had to force myself to not squint because I'm sure that was canceling out the point of the facial (who wants NEW wrinkles? not me thankssss). It took a good ten minutes for my eyes to adjust to the regular inside light after it was over. Get the tanning goggles. Unless you need some quality time with the man upstairs.

Verdict: Ask for a gift certificate for your birthday, or splurge before a big event. Don't bother with the membership, unless you live right next door and can go every day.

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