cougar.

Skinny jeans, bling, and argyle... and they were born in 1991.

Should that be shocking to me? Because it is.

Note: They call themselves the "New Boyz", but really the only thing different is the jeans. The whole song is about not wanting a relationship and wanting to be with lots of women. Idon'tcaretheyarewearingargyle

indulge.

Sometimes, you have to indulge. Because you can't take it with you, and you never know when you're going to drop dead at a ridiculously young age.

And sometimes, indulgence requires splurging for one night at a fantastic hotel...

...and getting the bonus of a really great sunset!

And maybe, staying up until 1:30 am, and sleeping in until 11. And spooning. Just sayin'.


P.S. Also, my webcam works!!! So I gave my friend MJ a tour of my apartment, and we "hung out" for an hour last night... while actually being 6,000 km apart. Technology is so freakin' cool.

i hate stupid people.

Brace yourselves, I'm going to rant.

I posted a comment on this article yesterday: http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2009/12/14/bc-rogerstexting.html

My comment read:

"Wow, we live in a rich country...not worried about war or famine, but being charged 15 cents for an incoming text.

Let me start off my saying I'm a Rogers customer, and have always had good experience with their customer service - even if I did have to wait on hold for an eternity.

Von Sacken should start acting like a mother. She gave the kids phones and then basically threw up her hands saying, "I can't control how many texts they get." Start charging your children for them, or taking away their Wiis and laptops if they don't comply. Change their plans. Change their phone numbers - it's free with Rogers.

Good lord woman, stop complaining about the luxury of having personal cell phones and start being a mother."

First of all, this comment received 16 thumbs up and 107 thumbs down. ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN. I read through the posts after that, and two people addressed my comment, "Puzzled accountant":

"rhakinson, get off your soapbox and read the article again - more carefuly this time."

and "Tyerin":

"rhankinson, tell you what. I want to arbitarily charge you an extra 15 cents on every interaction you do that invovles money, ever bill you pay, coffee you buy etc.

Infact I'm going to do that to everyone, and become rich. I mean, there's no war or femine here as you said, so no one will mind while I take such a tiny amount of their money and rake in thousands of dollars a month, right?

Out of context, this is the exact, and I repeat, exact same context within what rogers has done.

You were doing things before that didn't cost you an extra 15 cents, but now you are.
Infact, you don't have to accept a text message and you'll be charged anyway.

I'm going to change my pilosphy, instead of everytime thinks of you (I know you can't control this) I'm going to charge you 15 cents, that's more in line with it, as you can't help who sends a text message, even if you ask them not to the might."

Aside from the atrocious number of spelling and grammar mistakes (I realize I didn't capitalize "lord" and I had a fragment in my post ... however... "Infact"? "arbitarily"? really?), have we really come to a time in society when people a) don't realize how rich they are and b) can't succintly and literately express themselves? Tyerin's comparison doesn't even make sense. Rogers couldn't start charging me for buying coffee if I hadn't signed a contract first. Duh.

Rant about the article:
The mother clearly had no idea what she was getting into when she signed on to a three year contract with THREE teenages and three phones. It obviously would have been a better choice to get them all phones with prepaid calling (and not with Rogers, jeepers!), and then if the money ran out before the month ended, tell your kids to get a job and buy the cards themselves.

It was announced in the media months before the actual change that Rogers (as well as a number of other providers, I believe) were going to start charging for incoming texts. Why did she wait until after the fact to get upset about it?

She also appeared to only have called Rogers once, before filing a complaint with the BBB. I've been on hold with Rogers for 75 minutes before, before talking to a very nice lady in customer service. You have to at least TRY to speak to someone before you go all ape shit on the media.

Rant about the posters:
They suck. That is all.

so here's a thought.

I've been telling people for years that I wanted a dozen children, and to have lots and lots of kids running around my house, and for chaos to rule the roost.

Lately, I have been rethinking that stance... I've been reading a lot of Mom blogs (believe it, there are tons of them out there!) and a lot of these women talk about the inability to keep a house clean with kids. I'm getting really used to having a neat apartment (most of the time!) and I don't know how I would deal with the mess that that many children would cause. Two, max three would be a tornado enough, I think... and then they could all have their friends over, and I'd still have a house full, but could send home the excess children at night time.

I also like the idea of living in a smaller house, mostly because there would be less to clean... but also because it would force me to not keep a lot of "stuff", and I'm not a hoarder.

Look at how cute this kitchen is!

http://tinyurl.com/ydt6t4w

So sweet. And oh, so organized :)

Also, I am totally coveting this washer/dryer set:

http://tiny.cc/2V7eW

GORGEOUS. Give me a fireplace, a cat and some knitting... I am gettin' old.

katy and russell.

I KNOW I should be doing more important things with my life, like, *ahem* working.. but look at how cute these two are!!


He's so dirty, and she's so, I don't know, corrupted.. a preacher's daughter-turned-megastar dating a man who regularly talks to thousands of people about his former sexcapades and drug problems.. I love it. Look at the leather! They're so edgy!

So cute.

weekend!

Weekend. What a glorious word!

Even more glorious if the weekend happens to coincide with a birthday, and even more lucky if birthday presents come in the form of Christmas related objects: seeing A Christmas Carol in 3D, browsing through a craft fair (peppermint bath bombs! yum!), watching the parade of lights and then enjoying hot chocolate with family, and receiving (among other things!) a baking sheet to make Christmas cookies on!! I have never been more excited to hang out in the kitchen.

Also, a bajillion facebook happy birthdays. While some may think receiving mail is more formal (I guess it is.. but I always throw out birthday cards and then feel bad about it..), I like emails, ecards, and networking sites better - less waste! Thanks everyone!

somebody's normal.

I watched the SATC movie again last night, I love that movie so much. It is because of movies like this that I truly believe that someday I will be able to afford $400 shoes and $1000 purses.

And I know this was a movie... and every move and word is crafted to make me feel a certain way.. but with a boyfriend 300 kms away...I got jealous that this was somebody's normal.

treasure hunting.

I am now the proud owner of a vintage authentic mink fur stole.

The irony of my last blog post title has not escaped me.

thrift store grandmother.

I have started putting up some Christmas decorations, my first Christmas decorations for my first apartment! I am enjoying a quiet night at home tonight, knitting and drinking tea. I am truly in touch with my inner grandmother.

I found this incredible blog today written by a high school student named Jane, called "Sea of Shoes". She has exquisite and expensive taste for such a young woman, and has been featured in Vogue. I cannot get over her fantastic thrift store finds, and she manages to obtain high end designer shoes for ridiculously discounted prices. THIS is the kind of Sherlock I'd like to be!

Some examples of her finds:


This girl is beautiful! She was born for this industry!

http://seaofshoes.typepad.com/sea_of_shoes/

So tomorrow, I am thrift store shopping. I don't think I'll find any Prada or Balenciaga, but a girl can hope, right?

wordy.

So it's mid-November, and I haven't done a recap of my October goals. Here goes!


- Read the biography of someone I find inspiring - BUST
Let's face it, I got through 30 pages of the Alfred Nobel book and I was falling asleep.. much too boring. I do, however, now know that there is a basement level to the library (who knew?) and plan on visiting there more often.


- Go on a road trip to somewhere I've never been before - SUCCESS
This one I completed, travelling the Cabot Trail with Donnie on Thanksgiving weekend.


- Try and stay focused at work - SUCCESS
In general, I have gotten better so I will consider this one a success.


- Explore the history of the area in which I'm living - 1/2 SUCCESS?
The only thing I've done towards this goal was walk through the cemetary across from my apartment, which was an event in itself because I find cemetaries creepy. I can't for the life of me (haha...) understand how people who were once talking, walking, loving, learning, and working are now under the ground with nothing but busted down tombstones to mark their places. I did however, find the grave of a former premier of Nova Scotia.


- Find somewhere to volunteer on a regular basis - SUCCESS
I have finished the paper work I needed to get done, now the police check, and I'll be good to go.


- Exercise (cardio) three times a week - BUST
Big fail. I'm still doing pilates at work, and I'm noticing improvements in my body through this, but it's doing nothing for my cardiovascular system. I bought a Tae Bo video, but so far Billy Blanks is chillin in his case underneath my tv.. oops.


- Try one new recipe each week - SUCCESS (surprised?)
This is a success. I've made several things I haven't before, including hummus, edamame dip, squash and pumpkin soup, chocolate biscotti, homemade spicy chicken soup, and several varieties of smoothie. Yum!


4.5 out of 7.


There are six weeks until Christmas, so I'll make my next set of goals for then. Here we go:


Buy a tape measure and fat calipers and determine my measurements and body fat percentage. Pick one thing to improve on by Christmas.


Channel my inner Martha and re-learn to knit (I've got the middle part down, but casting on and off still eludes me). Pick a few mini projects and aim to be working on something when watching tv.


Choose three classes to take in January (pilates, yoga, dance classes, pottery, etc.), and have registration info all lined up and ready to go. I need to fill up my schedule because winter and I are not buddies at all, and I tend to hibernate if I don't have anything planned.


Drink 2L of water a day. I know from my past that I feel like a million bucks when I drink a lot of water, but I've been slacking lately.


Go on a road trip to somewhere else in NS that I've never been to. I finally have a car, so I'm not taking this freedom for granted!


Get all my Christmas shopping done by December 12th. Two weeks before Christmas will leave me lots of time to get into the good stuff, like decorating and baking! Woohoo!


P.S. Don't eat two large pieces of chocolate biscotti before a pilates class. Eww.

chocolate almond biscotti.

Chai Chocolate Almond Biscotti
Prep time: 15 mins. Total time: 70 min.
Makes 36 biscotti.

1/2 c. unsalted butter, @ RT
3/4 c. granulated sugar
1/4 c. packed dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 c. all purpose flour
1/2 c. cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp each ground cardamom, cinnamon, and salt
1 c. slivered almonds

1. Preheat oven to 350F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. With an electric mixer, beat butter with sugars until pale and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and blend well.

2. Sift together flour, cocoa, baking powder, spices and salt. Stir flour mixture into butter mixture until blended. Stir in almonds. Shape cookie dough into 2 logs and place on prepared baking sheet, leaving 3 inches between logs. Press lightly to flatten slightly. Bake 40 mins. Remove from oven.

3. Reduce oven temperature to 325F and line a second baking sheet with parchment paper. While still warm, slice 1/2-inch biscotti on the bias with a serrated knife. Place on baking sheet. Bake 12 to 15 mins until lightly browned around the edges. Biscotti will firm up further as they cool.

Taken from an Our Compliments Inspired magazine.
____________________________________________

I made a few changes to this recipe. I used light becel margarine, pure vanilla extract, removed the ginger and cardamom (I didn't have any at the time), and added 1 tsp nutmeg and ~1/4 tsp cinnamon.

I beat the butter and sugar by hand, and I still don't have a baking sheet or parchment paper, so I used glass casserole dishes covered in tinfoil, and sprayed with cooking spray. I don't have a serrated knife, so I used a small steak knife to cut the pieces, which may have been why I ended up making, like, 15 biscotti from a recipe that says it makes 36.. oops! Needless to say, they weren't 1/2 inch thick!

I tried some tonight with coffee, and decided that I may decrease the nutmeg to 1/4 tsp (it was a bit strong) and include the ginger. Yummy though!

I may need to work on my photography skills .. also, I can't figure out how to get the time stamp off my digital camera.. another puzzle to solve!

weekend reflections.

DC arrived at 1pm on Friday, a beacon of warmth amidst the cold drizzle, snow flurries, and cloudy sky. My apartment seems much more homey with this gentleman in it.

Saturday's shopping expedition was a wild success. Need someone to go shopping with? I will be your personal shopper. I will get you different sizes. I will find you a sweet deal. I will find cozy sweaters to match with those sweet jeans. JeanS! Plural! I have waited 13 and a half months for this moment, to be your partner in crime in a crazy busy messy hip clothing store (..hip? HIP? What am I, 63?), and it met my expectations. Watch out, there will be more shopping trips :)

After a mini road trip into uncharted territory, we scouted out a flag store DC wanted to check out, and then headed home to relax for a while. Later in the evening, we headed out with the intention of checking out a restaurant.. which coincidentally didn't take reservations and didn't have a host(ess), so needless to say we didn't stay there very long.

Navigating the streets of Halifax, we wound up in a labyrinth of a shop, a veritable maze of literary art - a two story used bookstore that was packed to the rafters with more books then anywhere I've ever seen before. There were handmade shelves on top of bookshelves, extending the reach of the shelf to staggering new heights. No fancy catalogue system here - just hand written tags on shelves to identify alphabetically organized individual sections. We started out looking around together, then wound up buried in sections of our respective tastes - me in Travel, Theology, Medicine, and Science, and DC in Scotland, Sports, Political Studies - and he even managed to find a section on Serbia. We were like two starved school children, aching for a new subject to bury our noses in. Tucked in nooks and crannies were surprise chairs, ripped and torn, well worn by the bums of many curious patrons thirsty for new knowledge.

I loved it. I miss school. Really, is that a surprise to anyone?

In this weekend, I have learned (as I re-learn every time DC comes to visit) to never take anything for granted. I may be sitting on the couch playing on my laptop while he is watching Sportscentre, but the physical closeness, the simple fact that his feet are on my lap makes the experience far from ordinary. Really, we don't need much more than my apartment with a fridge full of food to make the weekend special, just each other. The jacuzzi is a nice bonus!

...but boyfriend visits are!

My apartment is clean, groceries have been bought, it's snowing outside, I'm taking the afternoon off, and I have absolutely no plans for the weekend,* except to be lazy and enjoy some time with my man.

*Okay, so I may have plans to drag him to the mall and play dress up.. shh don't tell!!

LDRs =/= fun.

Long distance relationships blow.

walk in the park.

Yesterday I went for a walk through Point Pleasant Park. It was a cloudy day, and I prefer taking photos on sunny days, but I think these ones turned out.







How anyone could live in the praries, I have no idea!! Being far away from any coast seems like a terrible idea to me :)

thankful.

I love living on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my university roommates (still do!!), and I feel that I made good use of the dorm space, but here are two reasons why I love living in an apartment, all to myself:



No more little teeny bed! ..also, no more stuffed animals..



And a real fridge! And a big counter to set my Brita on! And no more lava lamp!

Also, no one should EVER be subjected to this in public.

a life changing experience.

I ventured into Pete's Frootique last night, and for the first time, I made it past the lunch bar and dug into the grocery store in the back. And boy did I dig! They had pomegranates on sale - which I have recently discovered are my new favorite fruit.. can you freeze the seeds? I'm going to try! - so I bought three of those, a cucumber, melba toasts, gnocchi, brie, and *drumroll please* Burt's Bees Lemon Poppyseed Facial Cleanser.



Let's be honest. I don't buy products that are over $10 for my face.. I know it's terrible and I'm cheap and not doing great things to my skin, but I usually can find other things to spend my money on. This was a tad over my $10 limit, but it smelled so divine I decided to buy it.

This. Product. Is. Amazing.

It's like spreading lemon meringue pie on your face. For people who have food-on-the-face issues, I can see that it would be uncomfortable, but I've been making face masks from fruit, oatmeal, and eggs since I was 13, so I lathered this stuff on like it was cream cheese icing on a carrot cake. Apparently I like food, alright.

It is smooth and creamy, and there aren't really enough poppyseeds to make it exfoliating, but they add a nice touch to the mixture. I was a little nervous that my sensitive skin would react to it, but I washed it off with warm water and a face cloth, and my face felt hydrated and refreshed.

I literally woke up this morning excited to wash my face. I haven't been this excited about a product since, like, I discovered the tampon.

P.S. I have three days to read the biography of Alfred Nobel, research the history of Halifax, and try a new recipe. The recipe might end up being a smoothie..

irresponsible retail.. and a conflicted mind.

Let me paint a picture for you.

It is Monday night, twilight, just after 7pm. I am leaning up against the wall outside Lululemon, waiting for their free yoga class to start. People are walking, talking on cell phones, finishing up their shopping for the evening, driving home from working late. Amidst the hustle and bustle, I hear an alarm go off, and I think, "That sounds familiar... I wonder what it is."

Turns out, it is a store security alarm. Across the street from me, there is a LeChateau, which has not yet closed for the evening. The doors are open, and people are shopping inside. There is a man in his early 20s, wearing a well-fitting white hoodie, jeans, and a ballcap, with his hands in his pockets, in the doorway. He turns to his right, and takes his right hand out of his pocket, as if to say to the people inside, "What's going on? This alarm is going off and I don't know why." He must have gotten the okay to leave, because he turned back around and sauntered right out of the doorway. At this point, he is walking down the sidewalk, with his left side to me....with a clear outline of a shoebox poking out from underneath his left arm, which is still tucked in his pocket.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. The hoodie was a style you'd see from A&F, or Stitches or something, form fitting, not huge and baggy. I was across the street and I could clearly decipher a rectangular box underneath the whole left side of his chest.

This left me feeling particularly conflicted. The whole time I was watching I was thinking, "Really? Am I really watching this happening?" I was not going to chase him, 1. because what would I do if I caught him, and 2. What if he beat me? The only thing I had on me was my yoga mat, and I don't think anyone ever got hurt from being smacked with a yoga mat. Additionally, as far as I can remember, Le Chateau doesn't leave shoes in shoeboxes on the floor - you have to ask to try them on. So either this guy asked to try on a pair of shoes, and then the employee left him long enough for him to stuff the box under his shirt, or he creeped up behind some unsuspecting customer and stole a box from under their nose. I also thought maybe he had already bought something, and was trying to protect it, but this was highly unlikely as it wasn't raining.

All the employees would have had to do was say, "Can you come in here for a second," and gotten him to do a 360 degree turn, and they would have seen it. Come ON.

goals update.

It is October 18th, more than halfway through this month. Towards the end of September, I posted a list of goals for myself for this month, and this is how they are going:

Goals for October:

- Read the biography of someone I find inspiring
I have borrowed a biography of Alfred Nobel from the library, and it looks hideously boring, but I am curious about this man and his work, so I will plow through it. I also managed to get my hands on a copy of 'Eat Pray Love' which I have been wanting to read for a while.. and it's sort of a biography!

- Go on a road trip to somewhere I've never been before
DC and I went to Cape Breton last weekend, and while I've been there before, it was a decade ago and I have a terrible memory, but we definitely stayed at places I haven't been to before, so I think this counts!

- Try and stay focused at work; a good day's work makes my outlook brighter
Way to be subjective, Rachael! I am getting better at this, especially now that I have a better feeling for the work that I am doing, and have some long and short term goals at work (this girl works better with deadlines!).

- Explore the history of the area in which I'm living
Haven't touched this one yet. DC is much more into history than I am, that is one place where we differ immensely.

- Find somewhere to volunteer on a regular basis
I have the paperwork to volunteer through a local agency, I just haven't completed it yet. On the to do list!

- Exercise (cardio) three times a week *sidenote: I do pilates at work twice a week, so hopefully this combo will get me back in the game!*
This is a fail, but I'm working on getting better! Writing everything down will definitely help.

- Try one new recipe each week (baking, cooking, or a new smoothie or shake)
I haven't done this on the regular, but I tried three new recipes this weekend! Does that catch me up? Ha!

All in all, I think I'm doing alright so far. Now back to my book!

the leaves are turning.

..and it's not because it's autumn.

I am undergoing a change, and a much needed one, at that. I feel as though I am transitioning into a new stage in my life. Moving to a new city left me in a bit of a stupor, a feeling-sorry-for-myself phase that lasted a staggering two and a half months. I guess two and a half months isn't staggering in the long run.. but for me, and the attitude I used to have - a go get 'em, try new things, meet new people sort of girl - it was shocking.

It's really hard to meet new people without the built-in social life that university provides. I shouldn't complain though - I've had plenty of opportunities to meet people at work, and I shied away from them, and I'm still unsure why. Perhaps it is just easier to keep to myself, it's less work than painting on a smile and opening up to someone new.

The lack of a social life is probably the hardest part of this "being an adult" thing. I can handle the bank meetings, the phone calls to credit card companies, the apartment and car hunting, and I'm getting the hang of this budgeting thing. But my interactions with people are now limited to one on one meetings; the days of packed lecture rooms and parties are gone (for now, at least!). It's bizarre.

I feel that this post is really negative, and I didn't mean for it to be that way. The tide is turning, and this weekend was a very productive, colorful weekend that involved two free yoga classes (they're all over this city!! My body and my wallet loves it!), shopping at the Farmer's Market, renting a movie, visiting the library, coffee at Starbucks, talking on the phone, and lots of time in the kitchen. I successfully made a pumpkin and squash soup, which took two hours, and I didn't even start it until 9pm on Saturday night (the perks of living alone.. and having no social life! ha!). I had to bake the pumpkin and squash first.. mmm it smelled so good! And then Sunday, I made hummus and then a roasted garlic and edamame (soy bean) dip. I'm adding "food processor" to my Christmas list.. my blender, while superb at smoothies, didn't so much appreciate the sticky chickpeas.

Here are some ways in which I'm implementing this change:
- I've started a food journal, in which I also record my exercise (or lack thereof!) for the day, amount of sleep at night, and feelings after eating (so far, there are a lot of "Oops, I shouldn't have eaten that much...")
- I did up a meal plan for this week and bought all my groceries in advance
- I'm setting a goal for myself to get some form of exercise 5 out of 7 days of the week (and it will be recorded!)

That last goal is particularly embarrassing to admit, because it's not like fitness is a new idea in my life.. but these last few months have been lazy and I've been feeling gross because of it. I know I love the endorphin rush from a good workout, and bonus! My appetite increases! As long as I keep making healthy choices (and watching portion control; probably one of my biggest issues), I should be able to incorporate these changes into my lifestyle.

Final note:

One Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar contain 440 calories and 24 grams of fat.
One serving of Scotsburn's French Vanilla Frozen yogurt (half a cup) contains 110 calories and 0 grams of fat.

How is this possible??

Looks like I'm going to be replacing my chocolate cravings with frozen yogurt from now on!

home and dry.

1800kms later, we are home. Dear bf is back on the isle and I am back to the grind at work.

Did I mention that camping in October makes for a chilly, damp experience? We managed to tent 3 of the 4 nights we were out there, and the second-to-last night my darling bf delivered me a lovely early birthday present of a night in a hotel! (For the record, king size beds are too large.. I got lost in there!)

Once we had figured out that he likes to drive and I like to take photos, we were bombing along cliff sides and avoiding rainshowers to zoom into look out spots and take a few photos before dashing back in the car to dry off and eat some more chocolate (no campfires means a lot of s'more material to dispose of.. yum!). I learned a lot about how we work together and that we have different things we see when we look at the same town. He is awed by architecture, history, and feats of engineering, and I prefer to see beaches or comb through souvenir shops. It makes for an interesting balance when vacationing together, and it definitely involves compromise. On another note, we learned how to put up a tent in 5 minutes flat - thankfully, we managed to beat the hail!

I'm finally caught up on laundry, and back to work. Our next scheduled adventure is in early May, for his cousin's wedding in Toronto. I have 10 days off at Christmas (including weekends), so maybe something will have to be in order then.. the wheels are already turning!

headed for the highlands.

I'm all packed and waiting - just a few things to finish up at my place after work, and I'm headed on a road trip! I'm meeting my bf at his place tonight (3 hours away), and then tomorrow we're headed to Cape Breton for Thanksgiving weekend.

I love autumn. I love the colors and the crisp air.. I have never been to CB in the fall, but I hear the trees are spectacular! I've loaded up on camera batteries and I'm ready to put my amateur photography skills to the test. My car, which I have tentatively named "Little Grey", is packed full of camping gear and tons of groceries. I've gone camping before with the man, but never for five days, not in October (it's a little cooler this time of year!), and I don't think I've ever cooked a real meal outside before. I'm excited to see how this will pan out. The last time we went on a road trip, it was in the middle of winter and we got caught in a snowstorm.. I am hoping the snow will hold off this time!

louboutin.

I am dreaming of a day when $800 for a pair of shoes will seem trivial..

That can happen, right?

oops.

I have a confession.

I am madly in love with Ashley Olsen.

*crickets*

I know I know, I was at the front of the line of haters (probably handing out t-shirts) when her and her sister were in the middle of their "It Takes Two" days, with the kajillion straight-to-video movies they made, and the barbies and the clothing lines.

But LOOK at them.

The one on the right is a little haggard looking, perhaps from all the drugs and the not eating.

But ASHLEY.

Who wears stilletos to run errands?

Oh right, a multimillionaire. Who got a star on the Walk of Fame and became CEO of her own company at 18. Right.

vernix.

This evening, I watched a documentary about midwives. I ate supper while watching a baby being born. The head was out when it struck me... should I be grossed out by this?

Maybe I should be a midwife.

goals.

My brain feels like a big pile of sludge.

It's expanding, but not in a good way. I keep filling it with junk, the mental equivalent of stuffing your face with chips and McDonald's all day, and all I am getting is a sludge of junk where my critical-thinking, question-pondering, awed-at-the-miracle-of-life brain used to be. It's shocking how easy it was to slip into this routine of work 8(ish) to 4:30, eat, tv, sleep, get up, repeat.

MY BRAIN IS DYING.

So here's my plan: GOALS. If I learned anything in school, it is that nobody gets anywhere without goals. And this really is the perfect time - I have boatloads of free time, and my commitments are limited to, like, doing my own dishes.

Goals for October:
- Read the biography of someone I find inspiring
- Go on a road trip to somewhere I've never been before
- Try and stay focused at work; a good day's work makes my outlook brighter
- Explore the history of the area in which I'm living
- Find somewhere to volunteer on a regular basis
- Exercise (cardio) three times a week *sidenote: I do pilates at work twice a week, so hopefully this combo will get me back in the game!*
- Try one new recipe each week (baking, cooking, or a new smoothie or shake)

Also, I wasn't joking about that earlier post. I am currently drinking my last glass of wine (sigh.. I really do love red wine!). More and more I am realizing that if I want to have children in the future, the decisions I make today are going to affect my kids more than when I actually start trying to get pregnant. Good habits take time to form.. so I should get a head start! I actually saw a pregnant woman smoking today. I didn't think that still existed.

gaah

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_alcohol_syndrome

FAS is f**king scary. I quit drinking. Just in case.

P.S. My couch arrived!! Horray!! I have a living room now!! (Thanks Mom and Dad <3)

kinky boots.

This is my new favorite scene of any movie. My old favorite scene used to be the tub scene in Big Fish, when Albert Finney's wife climbs in the tub with him with all her clothes on.

This new scene is from the movie Kinky Boots. This is an exchange between Lola, a drag queen, who is trying to avoid discrimination and attention while visiting a small town in northern England, and the host of a bed and breakfast (Mrs. Cobb) where she is staying.

Mrs. Cobb knocks on the room door. Lola jumps out of bed and rushes to put on her wig.
Lola - "Come in!"
Mrs. Cobb -(hands Lola a cup of tea) "There we go!"
L - "Thank you!"
C - "And the room's alright for you then, love?"
L - "Absolutely lovely Mrs. Cobb, yes... lots of um.. lots of trinkets."
C - "Ah, now the little pottery shoes, they're good luck, you see, you know, like Whitby has lucky glass ducks, Northampton has lucky pottery shoes. Can I just ask, are you a man?"
L - (shocked) "... I am love, yes."
C - "Ah, that's fine, just so I know how to leave the toilet seat. I'll get some biscuits."

I loved this scene because in a small town where everyone stared and judged and was so focused on Lola's gender, Mrs. Cobb straight up asked and for the sole reason of providing the best experience for her guest. It was so flippant, it was shocking. I think this was one turning point in this film. Now, I have to go finish watching it!

photos.

living room before and after (the pile of stuff on the floor is gone, I promise!)






living room again, before and after



kitchen before and after

..this is taking forever.. more to come!

tired and happy.

I'm moved in!!! It's not quite finished, there are a few pieces left at Mom and Dad's, so when it's all put together, I will take photos and post them here. I can't get over how great this place is for me - it's the perfect size! I was worried about the storage space, but as long as I store carefully and restrain future purchases (my mother loved this idea), I should have no problem. I don't have a linen closet, but the drawers in the kitchen are huge (my landlord renovated recently, and he's got great taste too!), so I'm using one of those as a linen/towel drawer. I also didn't realize how many kitchen items I have.. for having an apartment of my own for the first time, I'm pretty well equipped!

Mom's coming over tomorrow night with a few final things for this place. I have to say I am extremely spoiled to have parents as great as these two.. they packed up all my things today at home (while I was at work) and met me here after work. I made one trip from the van to the house, and the rest of my time was spent unpacking what they brought in. They made my bed for me, broke down boxes, helped me unpack, and presented me with a "housewarming gift" of a grocery store gift card and a bottle of wine. I felt like royalty :)

Shortly after they left, I was talking to the bf on the phone, and I got a call from my brother - he and a few friends were in town and wanted to see the place! They were literally outside my door when they called, so I let them in and we chatted for a while. I have been in my apartment for literally under three hours at this point and I've had guests already!

Between that experience and my bf coming to visit this weekend, I don't think this week can get any better! I'm feeling a lotta love right now..

moving day..

..is tomorrow!!! I pick up the keys tonight. So excited!!!

I was hanging out with some friends last night walking around the city, and I realized that the library is less than a kilometer away from my place. I am looking for things to do around here that don't cost money, because between my new (used) car payments and sweet apartment, this girl is going to have to learn how to stick to a budget.

Leaving my parents' house, and prior to that a 3 bedroom apartment, I'm losing a lot of storage space moving into a one bedroom. I've been googling like crazy, looking for (cheap) stylish ways to organize and store things in a small space. This site has some chic ideas for small apartments, as well as DIY projects and lots of photos to get me started.. http://www.unplggd.com/.

As soon as I'm in and set up, I'll be posting before-and-after shots of the space. Can't wait!!!

a good way to ensure you get divorced.

I came across this blog this morning, and I thought to myself, "Self, no wonder the divorce rate is so high these days."

This woman married her husband (in March of 2009... this was a mere 5 months ago people) and promptly started a blog (which is TRADEMARKED, I might add) about her husband's annoying habits.

http://myhusbandisannoying.com/

I am young, and naive, and I think I have all the answers. I will admit that, right up front. I will also say that even though I am unmarried, I am in a relationship, and I'm pretty sure that a good way to ensure you STAY in a relationship (and a good one, at that) is to encourage, honor, and build up your partner - not belittle them and bring them down. I'm certain that the way to a long lasting, loving partnership is overlooking the little things that bug you (like messy eating habits) and realizing that life is more about spending time together, accomplishing goals that you set out to do together, and helping each other reach your full potential. I am no fortune teller, but I can guarantee you that these two won't reach the 5 year mark. Once he realizes that she is making money off of exaggerating his flaws and putting him down all day, he will take the money and run, and find someone more worthy of his affections - and I would fully support his decision. I hoped they signed a pre-nup!

adjusting.

I've been at my new job for almost three weeks now. It's going really well - there are some great people here that are helping me learn the ropes and are very patient with all my questions! I have my own desk (hel-lo adult job) and computer, a locker, a parking pass, a pension, health benefits, vacation, and pilates twice a week, at work. I really can't complain!

I'm currently living at home, until September 1st when I move into my new apartment!!!!! It took me a while (I viewed around 15 in person, and looked online for ages). It wasn't that I couldn't find a place - on the contrary, there were many available. I was being very selective, because if I don't like where I live, I feel like that is the basis for a shaky relationship with this city, and since I've been hearing good things for a while, I wouldn't want to mess it up early. Plus, my parents are very generous in extending their hand of welcome, and have been great about helping me move, allowing me to stay with them, and store all of my boxes at their place!

This apartment is beautiful, and so far the landlord is great! The apartment is the first floor of his house, and it was renovated last year. It's a one bedroom that includes a washer & dryer, dishwasher, fridge, stove, 9 foot bar/island, built in wine rack (on the island), and a jacuzzi tub. The living room area is cosy (no dining room), and it opens right into the kitchen, which I can't wait to get my hands in and start cooking and baking. I'd love to post before and after photos of when it's empty to when I have all my things arranged in it. That's another thing - I didn't realize I had so much stuff until I (..okay, Mom and I!) had to pack it all! I will (should) be spending this week sifting through the array of boxes and sorting what I need and what can be donated or thrown out. I managed to get rid of a lot before I moved, but somehow, a girl accumulates a lot of stuff in 4 years! Who knew?

In other news, as soon as I get myself arranged in the new place, my good-looking, hardworking bf is coming to visit me! That's by far the toughest adjustment about moving.. now being one half of a couple in a long-distance relationship. His birthday is next Wednesday, and so I've got a few ideas up my sleeve. They'll stay secret for now..

big changes..

I'm moving. Relocating. Changing addresses. I'm transplanting myself 3 hours away from the school I've attended for the last 4 years, the island I've come to know and love, and my dear boyfriend of just under a year.

Deep down I know it's a good decision, a smart career move, and one that will bring personal growth in many different ways. I wish I hadn't made the decision quite so hastily (even though the outcome may have been the same) for a few different reasons. I have been through a broad expanse of emotions in the past month, ranging from elation at attaining a position so soon after graduation, to grief over losing the lifestyle I have become accustomed to. I'm going to miss having my boyfriend pick me up after work every day.. my dear roommates to eat junk food and watch movies with, coffee with good friends here, giving directions to tourists, the quaint Victoria Row.. and all of this is going to be hard to adjust to. On the other hand, I'm glad for a new season in my life, one which will challenge and stretch me to develop a new social network, to explore a new city, and to learn new job skills. I will also (hopefully!) develop my budgeting skills, so that I can visit this lovely Island (and my main man) on a fairly frequent basis.

That being said, I'm still uneasy about moving. I've accepted the position, there's no going back, but I still haven't fully accepted the reality of what that will look like. I'm not sure I realize what it will mean to be 3 hours away from a man that has become so close to me, knows me before I even open my mouth, is there for me to drive me places, listen to my rants, and mop up my tears. He's been my shoulder to cry on for months now, and especially these past few weeks.. and I'm the one who wants to move.

Deep down, I know this is for the best.

So why does it hurt so bad?

safe.

lying here with you
listening to the rain
smiling just to see
the smile upon your face
these are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
these are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
and I could not ask for more

looking in your eyes
seeing all I need
everything you are
is everything to me
these are the moments
I know heaven must exist
these are the moments
I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
and I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more
than this time together
I could not ask for more
than this time with you

every prayer has been answered
every dream I have's come true
and right here in this moment
is right where I'm meant to be
here with you
here with me

these are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
these are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
and I could not ask for more

I Could Not Ask For More
Edwin McCain

interesting thought.

Bill Maher put out a new movie (a documentary slash comedy called "Religulous") mocking every form of organized religion. In an interview with CBS's Harry Smith, Bill makes a small but profound statement:

Harry Smith - "..underlying thought, a serious thought, I thought, in the movie was, you wish that Christians, if they really were going to be Christians, would be more Christ like."

Bill Maher - "Don't we all? I think everybody, that's something I don't even think is even controversial. That the message of Jesus, it's very good! It's about love, and forgiveness..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHH2JItePlc

winter.

Yesterday in our quaint little town there was a downpour of freezing rain, and everything got coated in a sheet of ice. Usually, the weather changes rapidly in this province, so I didn't think it would last very long and I would miss the chance to take some photos. Thankfully, it lasted until today, and I went for a walk around and took a lot of pictures. Photography is a hobby of mine that I really enjoy - I love off centre shots, candids, and understated photos. The photo on the left is of me attempting to get a photo of the fur on my coat, but I missed a bit and captured the left side of my face. I like that you can see that my ear is red - it was cold out there! The second photo is of the walkway I was on at one point - this one is surprisingly clear, as Charlottetown is not known for it's promptness in sidewalk clearing. I usually walk fairly quickly, with a sense of purpose, but my gait slows at this time of year, that is for certain!

to save or not to save, that is the question.

This is what waits for me on the other side of grad. Like, waayy on the other side. The Birks I figure will be my grad present to myself, since I'm not planning any big trips, and the backpack will be a summer goal, I believe. My biggest goal for post-grad is to be financially independant from my parents. I have been ridiculously blessed to run into a school that thought I was promising enough to pay for my education, and my parents have been incredible and supported me through this wild ride that is university. I love them dearly and am extremely grateful. As a result, I will graduate with no debt, which is almost unheard of at this day and age. I dream of backpacking, but I recognize that if I am going to be independant, I need to start thinking like an adult and planning ahead. That means a little delayed gratification is in order, and no trip immediately after grad. I will buy the Birks and continue to dream, and start squirreling away money from my summer job. This pains me to say, because I do love a good sale.. but if I am ever going to grace Thailand with my presence, saving will be the goal, I say!

photoshoot.

Have you seen The Guardian lately? In the newspaper today, there is a story about some racy photos that were taken of a woman in firefighter's gear at the local fire department.

"Explicit photos of a topless girl leaning next to, inside, and on top of a Charlottetown fire truck is being described as a black mark on the firefighting service. The photos started appearing in people’s e-mail Thursday. A total of 18 different photos were emailed to city councillors, firefighters, and prominent residents as well as to the media. The first in the series of photos show the unknown woman posing topless in firefighter protective wear at an unknown location."

My first reaction when I heard about this story was, "Let's see the photos!!" My next reaction was to laugh. A lot. I can see exactly where this is going - some young firefighter thought it would be a kick to get his hot gf (p.s. she is gorgeous) to pose in his gear.. or maybe it was even her idea. Whatever. I think I'm pretty progressive when it comes to this sort of thing - I see nothing wrong with this. I think it's cute.

"Other photos included in the email show the woman topless standing next to a Charlottetown fire truck, parked inside the hall at Station #2 in Sherwood. Other photos show the woman hanging off the back of a fire truck, inside the cab of the truck at the steering wheel as well as straddled between two trucks, wearing only a firefighter’s protective hat, pants and rubber boots."

She was topless, covered from the waist down, and only having seen one of the photos (which was on the front page of the paper, on a Sunday. Only you, Charlottetown.), I'm assuming in all of the photos, her nipples were covered by the suspenders on the pants (they were in the photo I saw, which had her face blurred out). It's not like someone shot a porn video on top of a fire truck. If anything, they should be making a calendar of these photos (with her permission, of course) and having a fundraiser. But since Ch'town is so conservative and straightlaced, it's this big scandal. The firefighter isn't even with the department anymore, so they can't even get rid of him. I guess the biggest concern was if she was over 18. This wasn't mentioned anywhere in the article at all. Probably because this is Charlottetown, and the "unidentified woman" would have been easily identifiable by anyone currently in the department.

Also, I am 100% certain that the Guardian didn't ask the woman for permission to print the photos. If I were her, and if Charlottetown wasn't so small, I'd be suing their asses for damages. As it is, she could probably just stomp over to that reporter's house and kick him in the balls herself.

I have a message for you Charlottetown:
NO ONE CARES.
Her bf isn't with the department anymore, she's probably not even with him. The city councillors and "prominent residents" are probably just embarrassed that they got boners from a woman posing in gear that was paid for from taxpayer's money.


Read it for yourself at:
http://www.theguardian.pe.ca/index.cfm?sid=226879&sc=98

irresponsibility.

HOW HAVE I MISSED THIS??

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nadya_Suleman

Nadya and I share a few important things in common. We both love babies. We both have always dreamed of having our own families. We both can't (well, couldn't, in her case) wait to have a little person to connect with that is actually a part of yourself.

There is one MAJOR difference:

I have common sense, and this dear woman does not.

Nadya had octuplets January 26th of this year. OCTOPLETS = EIGHT BABIES. HOLY SHIT. EIGHT. Eight premature, tube fed, hanging out in incubators, crying, pooping infants. Lovely for Nadya, now she has the big family she'd been dreaming of, except she probably won't sleep for the next 5 years. EXCEPT WAIT. She already has six kids at home. UNDER EIGHT YEARS OLD.

The woman now has fourteen (more than a soccer team's worth of kidlets) all under eight years old at home.

I mean, whatever, John and Kate have 8, I'm sure she can manage, with her husband to help out. .. Oh wait, nope, she's single.

Good thing she's got a good job then, she's got a lot of mouths to feed and a lot of medical bills to pay .. oh wait.. nope, no job either. She's been on disability for a spinal cord injury that happened as the result of a riot from the mental hospital that she used to work at.

Oh wow, she must have been fertile to make eight babies on her very own! Uhh, nope, no she wasn't, she had ALL FOURTEEN KIDS via IVF treatment.

How the HELL does a broke woman with a bad back have the means to undergo IVF no less than six times?? How do they let her keep coming back when she's on government support? Are there no regulations on IVF? It enrages me that it's easier to get medical assistance to pop out a soccer team (with no money, keeep in mind) than it is to adopt ONE orphan (who's already been born, FYI) from a foreign country. Good luck even adopting a child as a single parent.

I haven't even mentioned her plan to provide for her children: she's going to go back to school in the fall to get her Master's, in order to qualify for higher-paying jobs. According to her she'll be able to do it with student loans and government support. Don't even get me started..

debate.

What are YOU doing Friday night? Well I, dear reader (..s, readers, a girl can hope!), am headed to a debate on campus between a philosophy professor and a religious studies professor. The title is, "Does God Exist?"

I love this form of debate. Two educated, well spoken individuals conversing in a non-threatening manner about a topic near and dear to many people's hearts. Plus, there's a bar! Now THAT promises to make the night more interesting..

completely unrelated topics.

• My wonderful boyfriend bought me Lindt chocolates for Valentine's Day. I decided it would be nice if I took a few home to share with my brother and my mom. Tip of the Day: Lindt chocolates do not travel well in your coat pocket.
  
  
• I hung out with some girls on Monday that I love dearly. We went to Starbucks and saw a movie.. and let me tell you, there is nothing like a vanilla soy latte, Confessions of a Shopaholic, and girl talk to get your week started off right. Thanks ladies!

• Whatever happened to reusable diapers? They're still around, Sears even sells them. My mom used them for my brother and I, which was probably more a factor of cost than concern for the environment.. regardless.. thanks Mom! Relax guys, I'm not pregnant. I just love babies, a lot.

• Remember Toploader's "Dancing in the Moonlight"? I was in the middle of junior high when this came out. In case you've never heard it, or feel the need to reminisce, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHkmLEhFq44. Enjoy!
  

thoughts of a new year.

Has it really been six months since I've posted? It's unbelievable how time passes, even when we think we're paying attention.

The last time I posted, I was singing the single song (how's that for an alliteration), and I can honestly tell you that I was very content in that moment. I've always been one to enjoy quiet time alone, and I have no problem with spending an evening (or three) alone. I find that when I am surrounded by people, I find it necessary to escape, even for a few minutes, to collect myself and remain grounded. That being said, I have this intriguing mix of loving attention and being in the middle of it (as I'm sure many will tell you), but this need to pull away and be on my own.

How does this interesting mix fit into a relationship? You would think that it would be difficult for me to open up to someone, when I have this need to be alone. Having entered into a relationship this past fall has taught (and re-taught) me things about myself. Sometimes I have the opposite problem - falling too hard and opening up too quickly. I worry that it may cause me hurt, as I have a hard time keeping myself guarded in the excitement of a new relationship. I trust quickly, and give a lot away emotionally, which - while allowing me to draw closer to someone very quickly - has the potential to hurt me a lot if the relationship ever fails.

Balance really is the key to everything we do - eating, exercising, working, playing. I believe the same can be said for relationships; it is necessary to give of yourself and work towards sharing who you are with another person; however, it must be done on an appropriate timeline, or you risk hurting yourself, or the other person. That being said, what is an "appropriate timeline"? I don't have one, apparently..