what do i want?

Please permit me to indulge in a completely selfish train of thought for the next few minutes.

I watched the movie Blue Crush last night. I absolutely love that movie.. and not for it's fantastic screen play, stellar acting, or celeb heavy cast - for in fact, it most definitely lacks all of those things. I love it because it is so far removed from the life I am living right now. I would love to drop everything and move to a shack on the beach in Hawaii, and surf all the time, and look tanned and buff like those girls. That's pretty much my dream. Unfortunately, I can't, because I am committed to finishing this degree by April 2009, and to be responsible and act grown up. I digress.

At one point in the movie, at the height (if this movie has a height) of this movie's intense dialogue, the main character is talking to her bf about her life. She's confused, and he's trying to help sort her out as best he knows how. So he asks her, "I mean, what do you want?" and she responds,

"What do I want? Oh my god.. I want Penny to quit smoking and to go to college. I want.. I want to be able to pay the phone, and the electricity and the rent all in the same month; I want a girl to be on the cover of surf magazine.. and that would be great if that girl were me, but any girl would do. And I want.. I mean I wish my mom would come home. And I really, really want to win Pipemasters tomorrow. That’s what I want."

If that doesn't make sense, you should probably invest two hours of your time and watch the movie. You'lll thank me.

I really feel, as selfish as the statement "I want" is, that unless you establish what you want in life, it's hard to be focused and strive towards a goal. I'm not sure how God's will for my life fits into this equation; I'm still working on that one. I've been thinking about what I want, and here's the list I've come up with:

- I want to finish this Honours degree with a research project that I am proud of, and that will advance chemistry research in some way, shape, or form.
- I want to work on my time management skills.. aka less procrastinating.
- I want to critically assess where and when I spend money, and figure out where I can save.. I am in university, after all!
- I want to improve my fitness level, stay healthy, get enough sleep to enjoy and get the most out of every day, and be proud of the body I have been given.
- I want to be an inspiration to those around me.
- and I want to go to Florida on spring break!

Yes, it is a selfish list, but I'm in a selfish time, and part of me thinks that's alright. I have this time now that I'm single, I don't have kids, I'm young, and it's socially acceptable for me to think only about myself right now. So be it!! Let's live this life!!