to save or not to save, that is the question.

This is what waits for me on the other side of grad. Like, waayy on the other side. The Birks I figure will be my grad present to myself, since I'm not planning any big trips, and the backpack will be a summer goal, I believe. My biggest goal for post-grad is to be financially independant from my parents. I have been ridiculously blessed to run into a school that thought I was promising enough to pay for my education, and my parents have been incredible and supported me through this wild ride that is university. I love them dearly and am extremely grateful. As a result, I will graduate with no debt, which is almost unheard of at this day and age. I dream of backpacking, but I recognize that if I am going to be independant, I need to start thinking like an adult and planning ahead. That means a little delayed gratification is in order, and no trip immediately after grad. I will buy the Birks and continue to dream, and start squirreling away money from my summer job. This pains me to say, because I do love a good sale.. but if I am ever going to grace Thailand with my presence, saving will be the goal, I say!

photoshoot.

Have you seen The Guardian lately? In the newspaper today, there is a story about some racy photos that were taken of a woman in firefighter's gear at the local fire department.

"Explicit photos of a topless girl leaning next to, inside, and on top of a Charlottetown fire truck is being described as a black mark on the firefighting service. The photos started appearing in people’s e-mail Thursday. A total of 18 different photos were emailed to city councillors, firefighters, and prominent residents as well as to the media. The first in the series of photos show the unknown woman posing topless in firefighter protective wear at an unknown location."

My first reaction when I heard about this story was, "Let's see the photos!!" My next reaction was to laugh. A lot. I can see exactly where this is going - some young firefighter thought it would be a kick to get his hot gf (p.s. she is gorgeous) to pose in his gear.. or maybe it was even her idea. Whatever. I think I'm pretty progressive when it comes to this sort of thing - I see nothing wrong with this. I think it's cute.

"Other photos included in the email show the woman topless standing next to a Charlottetown fire truck, parked inside the hall at Station #2 in Sherwood. Other photos show the woman hanging off the back of a fire truck, inside the cab of the truck at the steering wheel as well as straddled between two trucks, wearing only a firefighter’s protective hat, pants and rubber boots."

She was topless, covered from the waist down, and only having seen one of the photos (which was on the front page of the paper, on a Sunday. Only you, Charlottetown.), I'm assuming in all of the photos, her nipples were covered by the suspenders on the pants (they were in the photo I saw, which had her face blurred out). It's not like someone shot a porn video on top of a fire truck. If anything, they should be making a calendar of these photos (with her permission, of course) and having a fundraiser. But since Ch'town is so conservative and straightlaced, it's this big scandal. The firefighter isn't even with the department anymore, so they can't even get rid of him. I guess the biggest concern was if she was over 18. This wasn't mentioned anywhere in the article at all. Probably because this is Charlottetown, and the "unidentified woman" would have been easily identifiable by anyone currently in the department.

Also, I am 100% certain that the Guardian didn't ask the woman for permission to print the photos. If I were her, and if Charlottetown wasn't so small, I'd be suing their asses for damages. As it is, she could probably just stomp over to that reporter's house and kick him in the balls herself.

I have a message for you Charlottetown:
NO ONE CARES.
Her bf isn't with the department anymore, she's probably not even with him. The city councillors and "prominent residents" are probably just embarrassed that they got boners from a woman posing in gear that was paid for from taxpayer's money.


Read it for yourself at:
http://www.theguardian.pe.ca/index.cfm?sid=226879&sc=98

irresponsibility.

HOW HAVE I MISSED THIS??

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nadya_Suleman

Nadya and I share a few important things in common. We both love babies. We both have always dreamed of having our own families. We both can't (well, couldn't, in her case) wait to have a little person to connect with that is actually a part of yourself.

There is one MAJOR difference:

I have common sense, and this dear woman does not.

Nadya had octuplets January 26th of this year. OCTOPLETS = EIGHT BABIES. HOLY SHIT. EIGHT. Eight premature, tube fed, hanging out in incubators, crying, pooping infants. Lovely for Nadya, now she has the big family she'd been dreaming of, except she probably won't sleep for the next 5 years. EXCEPT WAIT. She already has six kids at home. UNDER EIGHT YEARS OLD.

The woman now has fourteen (more than a soccer team's worth of kidlets) all under eight years old at home.

I mean, whatever, John and Kate have 8, I'm sure she can manage, with her husband to help out. .. Oh wait, nope, she's single.

Good thing she's got a good job then, she's got a lot of mouths to feed and a lot of medical bills to pay .. oh wait.. nope, no job either. She's been on disability for a spinal cord injury that happened as the result of a riot from the mental hospital that she used to work at.

Oh wow, she must have been fertile to make eight babies on her very own! Uhh, nope, no she wasn't, she had ALL FOURTEEN KIDS via IVF treatment.

How the HELL does a broke woman with a bad back have the means to undergo IVF no less than six times?? How do they let her keep coming back when she's on government support? Are there no regulations on IVF? It enrages me that it's easier to get medical assistance to pop out a soccer team (with no money, keeep in mind) than it is to adopt ONE orphan (who's already been born, FYI) from a foreign country. Good luck even adopting a child as a single parent.

I haven't even mentioned her plan to provide for her children: she's going to go back to school in the fall to get her Master's, in order to qualify for higher-paying jobs. According to her she'll be able to do it with student loans and government support. Don't even get me started..

debate.

What are YOU doing Friday night? Well I, dear reader (..s, readers, a girl can hope!), am headed to a debate on campus between a philosophy professor and a religious studies professor. The title is, "Does God Exist?"

I love this form of debate. Two educated, well spoken individuals conversing in a non-threatening manner about a topic near and dear to many people's hearts. Plus, there's a bar! Now THAT promises to make the night more interesting..

completely unrelated topics.

• My wonderful boyfriend bought me Lindt chocolates for Valentine's Day. I decided it would be nice if I took a few home to share with my brother and my mom. Tip of the Day: Lindt chocolates do not travel well in your coat pocket.
  
  
• I hung out with some girls on Monday that I love dearly. We went to Starbucks and saw a movie.. and let me tell you, there is nothing like a vanilla soy latte, Confessions of a Shopaholic, and girl talk to get your week started off right. Thanks ladies!

• Whatever happened to reusable diapers? They're still around, Sears even sells them. My mom used them for my brother and I, which was probably more a factor of cost than concern for the environment.. regardless.. thanks Mom! Relax guys, I'm not pregnant. I just love babies, a lot.

• Remember Toploader's "Dancing in the Moonlight"? I was in the middle of junior high when this came out. In case you've never heard it, or feel the need to reminisce, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHkmLEhFq44. Enjoy!
  

thoughts of a new year.

Has it really been six months since I've posted? It's unbelievable how time passes, even when we think we're paying attention.

The last time I posted, I was singing the single song (how's that for an alliteration), and I can honestly tell you that I was very content in that moment. I've always been one to enjoy quiet time alone, and I have no problem with spending an evening (or three) alone. I find that when I am surrounded by people, I find it necessary to escape, even for a few minutes, to collect myself and remain grounded. That being said, I have this intriguing mix of loving attention and being in the middle of it (as I'm sure many will tell you), but this need to pull away and be on my own.

How does this interesting mix fit into a relationship? You would think that it would be difficult for me to open up to someone, when I have this need to be alone. Having entered into a relationship this past fall has taught (and re-taught) me things about myself. Sometimes I have the opposite problem - falling too hard and opening up too quickly. I worry that it may cause me hurt, as I have a hard time keeping myself guarded in the excitement of a new relationship. I trust quickly, and give a lot away emotionally, which - while allowing me to draw closer to someone very quickly - has the potential to hurt me a lot if the relationship ever fails.

Balance really is the key to everything we do - eating, exercising, working, playing. I believe the same can be said for relationships; it is necessary to give of yourself and work towards sharing who you are with another person; however, it must be done on an appropriate timeline, or you risk hurting yourself, or the other person. That being said, what is an "appropriate timeline"? I don't have one, apparently..

tears in my glass.

I watched the sun set, with a glass of Pinot Grigio in hand, wearing naught but a white bikini, and listening to Meshell Ndegeocello, "Beautiful". Romantic as it was, it was not perfect - I'm nursing a sunburn from a day in the sun, and I still display the remains of a black eye obtained during my first attempt at surfing. However, it was an incredible few moments, and I reflected on my weekend, friendships, and plans for the future.

I spent this weekend visiting with two of the most incredible people I've ever known.. two great friends from high school that I admire, trust, and look up to. They decided on the spur of the moment to come and visit, and I accepted with open arms. We ate out, spent some time at the beach, played some games with friends, and had the opportunity to talk about lots of different issues.

Of the various topics we covered in our brief stint together were two topics I'd like to address: being single, and plans for the future.

All three of us are single, and happily so. Granted we all have our moments where it would be great to have someone, in general, we are all content with our lives. I realized in talking with them that it is much easier to live in the moment when you're not concerned about a significant other. Even in the most fabulous relationships, being in a relationship requires giving of oneself. It requires compromise, communication, unconditional love, trust, and sacrifice. These are excellent qualities to have and share, but not ones that I am willing to work on at this point in time.. at least not in the context of a romantic relationship. With others, sure. As a 21-year-old university student, I am content with saying that I am happy and fulfilled not being in a romantic relationship!

Secondly, all three of us are entering our 4th year of university, and with that comes the inevitable question - "What are you planning on doing after you graduate?" Not one single day goes by lately that I don't think about that question.

As innocent as this question may seem, it is a loaded question. With it comes judgment; there is a stigma attached to this question, that if I lack a plan, I am not driven, not capable of handling "real life", or not goal-oriented enough to survive in today's corporate society. Perhaps, I have self-imposed this stigma.. maybe, somewhere deep inside, I feel like a failure if I fail to move on to the next step of the expected path I am to follow.

That being said.. what is my expected path? In high school, it was easy - I was the good kid, the nerdy kid who always brought home As and aced everything. I didn't party, I went to church every Sunday, and I hung out with the "right" people.

At this point in my life, the majority of expectations on my life are imposed by two groups of people: professors (who, while wonderful and intelligent in their own right) who don't really know me.. and by myself.

As unsure as I am about what I would like to do academically and professionally, I know one thing for certain: I need to travel. It's not even a question any more. It's a need within me to get out, to learn about new cultures and to explore the unknown.

If I can shake this concept that I am a failure if I don't go to grad school, or start at a job right after graduation, if I can figure out a way to stand up tall and proud when people ask me what my plans are after graduation, and say, "I am traveling!" and be proud of my decision, then I will be on the right path. My path, the path that I, with my God-given brain and intelligence, have chosen. It's not a life plan.. that's ridiculous, I can't plan my life all in on go! I'm not "taking a year off" to travel, or to "find myself" - although I hope to engage in both of those things - I'm not imposing a time limit on this, because who's to say how long it will be?

"What do we do now?"